Wednesday, January 26, 2011

40DLD-10: Legitimately Outta Your League Woman

In the Air Force Basic Training, we are divided into flights of 50ish people, obviously separated by gender (since there's walking around of nakedness at/around shower time), and then each flight is paired with another flight, which is designated as your brother or sister flight, depending on its gender makeup.  Well, the ratio isn't exactly 50:50, more like 75:25, as some pairs were brother-sister and others were brother-brother.  Ours were the latter. 

Brother-sister flights mixed in together whenever they went into classrooms and other things they did together, but not so in brother-brother flights.  As a result, I spent roughly one hour per week within arm's reach of a female, and church services made up a large part of that.  Things changed during Warrior Week as we were in a larger group called an AEF (Aerospace Expeditionary Force) which included three brothers and one sister flight.  During that time, somehow I met Holly, a tall blonde with a huge smile.  When we got released to be with our families a few weeks later after graduation, I ran into Holly and some other girls at a minor league baseball game, San Antonio Mission vs. Round Rock Express.  As we were standing outside waiting on our families to arrive, somebody offered us free tickets; great, saved us like $3.  Only when we got inside did we find out they were in one of the suites!  AWESOME!

Somewhere around then, I did the math: 3 girls to every guy in BMT.  I had to ask, "Seriously, not that I'm worried or threatened or offended, but who are the other two guys?  Because seriously, I can't be the only one."  Why would she pick me?  She never gave me a straight answer.

Every once in awhile, guys, a girl comes into your life who is legitimately out of your league.  I shared the following on the Women's Guide to Women as one of the types of women she had missed:

This category is largely but not exclusively made of cougars (yes, this title does apply to certain guys, myself in the past included). The legitimately-out-of-your-league woman, or LOOYLW, is the one Conway Twitty sang about in “Tight Fittin’ Jeans.” She’s the desperate housewife cornering the pool boy. She’s the woman who wants to hang out with/be with you for no reason you can figure out – it’s not like you have something to offer her. And that’s just it: she’s insecure but wants to feel like the one in power, so she cheats on her rich husband with a guy who buses tables, she’s single and in her 30′s but hangs around with college guys, she has all of Daddy’s money and uses it to buy everyone rounds at the dive bar. The trick to her (at least from my perspective) is making sure she knows you don’t need her. This doesn’t have to be in a mean way, just don’t let her own you. Yes, this means don’t let her buy you stuff.

I've had other girls do this to me.  It's kind of amazing to sit there and be like, "Seriously, why are you hanging out with me?  What do I bring to the table?"  Holly wasn't necessarily out of my league, but she was taken so that made her disqualified.  But I do have another one around right now who wishes I'd spend more time with her.  Ultimately, I have to determine that I'm not going to validate myself by the attention I get from the desperate.  I've gotta validate myself according to how God sees me.  Because who knows how long she'll stick around or whether or not she'll try to act on feelings she's having.  I've gotta respect myself enough to say no, even when she is really hot.

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