Monday, January 31, 2011

40DLD-15: Christian Dating Shows, or, Another Bad Idea

Tonight I came up with an idea for a Christian version of a blind date show.  Yes, I know we Christians are notorious for ripping off other ideas, but you also have to take into consideration that Hollywood rips itself off all the time.  When it comes to Christian cable programming, it's pretty much just preaching, VeggieTales, music videos, and Kirk Cameron movies.  So when you think this is a cheesy idea, just remember that you didn't come up with Hell Date, which was where BET decided, "Hey, let's take two diametric opposites and send them on a blind date to something one of them will love while the other hates it!  They'll fight!  It'll be fun!" 

And now for something completely different, or at least different enough to lead back in eventually but throw you off whenever I introduce it.  Friday and Saturday nights, i delivered to one particular lady who has to be in her 30's.  I call ahead so my customers know I'm coming; it helps me get there and back faster.  When I called Saturday night, I could already tell she was laying the cougar act on pretty thick.  I showed up at her door and she's wearing a belly shirt, short shorts, and holding a stuffed Hello Kitty (which was on her shirt and the bandaid on her cheek also).  Me, I'm just trying to keep my eyes on the pizza.  I knew I had to keep my cool, because this chick was legitimately out of my league, and we both knew it.  As I turned to leave, she said, "I want you to be my personal delivery boy from here on out."  I responded with something nondescript like "Aight."  I'm walking to my car and she hollers out, "My name is ________ by the way!"  I walked away feeling proud of myself that she was almost fawning over me instead of the boy I used to be who would have done anything to get that much attention from a female.  So the next time I show up at her door, she's getting the Word of God.  I picked up a spare Bible at my church, and I'm gonna deliver that with her pizza. 

Then I was thinking about how I'd go about ministering to her.  If she didn't throw the Bible back at me, I'd want to come and sit down at some point in time (off the clock, naturally) where we could talk it over.  This would NOT be done by myself, for obvious reasons.  The only problem is, I don't have any women of God in my life who are spiritually mature enough to minister alongside of me; I was trying to think of someone I could ask, when an imaginary conversation started in my head:

Her: "So does this count as a date?"
Me: "We're going to bring the Gospel to this woman's house.  I don't remember seeing this on any of those dating shows."

So that brought the idea of a Christian blind dating show to my head.  In my vision, the couple goes somewhere and serves the Kingdom in some way in addition to whatever legitimate date they may be going on later.  In some respects, this is like falling in love on a mission trip, except without taking much of a trip. Think about it: as a Christian couple, you don't just want booty out of the date (or you're not supposed to), you're looking for a lifetime companion.  What better way to prove whether or not you're compatible than by serving the poor, building houses, evangelizing, etc. together?  Now granted, you're not always going to work perfectly together the first time, but it should give you an idea of whether or not you like working with the person in the first place.  Furthermore, it should give you an opportunity to grow, as you put off the urge to fight due to the fact that there's a third party involved, and your whole goal of being there is for the third party's benefit and not your own.

And maybe I'm twisted in my view of dating, but that's how I see things.  I'm tired of trying to attract a woman like a used car salesman, saying, "Looky here!  I've got this degree and that job and this car and those madd skillz!  I love you!" when the real test of whether or not you love someone and are meant to be together is when you've known each other for months, seen each other's faults, and still want to be together. 

And that's why I'm still single.

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