Thursday, February 24, 2011

40DLD-39: The Handshake

I can tell a lot about you from the way you act/react when we first meet.  I know someone's gonna call me a judgmental holy-roller, but honestly this is how people in the world -- especially the corporate world -- think.  You can thank Taking Back Tiffany and Tyler Stanton for inspiring this post, btw.

Let's start off with everybody's favorite:

1. The Cold Fish.  Nothing says, "I'm weak and you can move me wherever you want" like offering someone a hand and then doing absolutely nothing when your hand is in theirs.  When you shake someone's hand, you should tense every muscle from your pectorals outward (for those of you who don't know muscles by their official name, this one is also called the man boob or, in some circles, just the moob). 

2. The Blow Off.  This guy likes to shake and dart.  He clearly has more important places to be, and you're in his way.  Nothing's more insulting than being told you're not as important as someone's next slurpee.

3. The Quick Retreat.  This can happen at any point during the conversation, but is more poignant the earlier it happens.  This dude does a 180 so fast that, if he were wearing a cape, it would smack you in the face; but then again, if he were wearing a cape, he'd probably fly away as soon as he did that 180, as it would be much easier than trying not to look like his tail's between his legs.  I had this happen one time where I said, "Hey, didn't I meet you at ____'s Bible Study once?"  He said "yep" and was across the weight room before I could ask anything else.  Obviously, he didn't want to be associated with anybody who knew him back then.

4. The Conversation Controller.  We're not meeting each other, I'm meeting you.  And then you're bringing me up to speed on who you are, since i haven't read your last three years' worth of tweets.  Your respect and care for me as the other person in the conversation is so low it doesn't even register to you.

5. The Eye Contacter.  No, this isn't the guy who decides it's a good time to ask about where you buy your contact lenses...I don't even have a category for him.  This is the guy who actually looks you in the eye, regardless of height difference, and even manages to talk to you for as long as respect deems necessary.  Try to be like this guy.

Bottom line: if you don't respect others enough to see them as equals, they'll pick up on it no matter how hard you try to hide it.

1 comment:

  1. I like the Fist Bumper...too cool for a handshake, too immature to realize that by pretending to be cool he is showing just how uncool he is.