Here's the situation. I've got a girl who's in my life, but not really in my life; we'll call her Andrea. I keep contact with her even though she lives across two state lines for one particular reason: Andrea's my Mary Kay consultant. No, I'm not out there buying makeup, they make a really awesome shaving cream and aftershave gel (trust me, guys, best shave I've ever had with a Mach 3 razor). This isn't the first time I've been attracted to her, as we went to high school together. Not since I was a student would I have thought I'd want to be with someone who went to Coushatta High School; but then again, I could always tell she was a little different. We didn't even come close to dating in high school (race was just one of the reasons), but now that ten years have gone by, I can see a few things have come out different for her. Here are reasons why I'm attracted to Andrea:
- She's working on her Ph. D., which will be her third degree. That shows me she has goals of where she wants to be, and she's driven to meet those goals.
- She's musical. We were in the CHS band together. If she could play two instruments then, I'm sure she can or could learn more in the future
- She's gorgeous. What else can I say? At one point she gained what was, for her, a lot of weight, and she still didn't look bad.
- She's entrepreneurial. Did I mention Andrea sells makeup? Did I mention that she talked me into buying shaving cream from a company that screams "women's products" to most men, myself included?
- She loves Jesus -- or at least she talks a good game. I'd have to be around her for a longer term before I could see whether words and actions line up, but having those state lines in between us kinda keep that from happening.
I haven't fully tested out all of my dealbreakers, especially the "litmus test," but then again I'm kind of afraid to, for one simple reason: we have a good business relationship. I occasionally buy something from her (seriously, like 2-3 times per year) and she gives service with a smile and a great attitude. This is like the male equivalent of a guy being in the friend zone (that'll be a whole nother post), but I really don't want to ruin this business relationship for the sake of getting a solid yes or no. I'll have to leave Andrea up to God to either move her closer or completely close the door on me. To go along with that, she's been married and divorced in the time since high school. I've gone back and forth over whether or not I care if I marry a virgin, and I'm still waiting on God to give me complete understanding in that area.
So, the other night while driving, I prayed something I'd never prayed before: "Lord, either give me a wife who's better than Andrea or make her the best option available. She's my high water mark right now; I can see having a wife who's better than she is, but I could also see her being made into the best wife possible." You see, the first thing the Lord ever spoke to me about my future wife was that, when she came in, I wouldn't have to pick one out of the crowd; she'd be the only one left on the playing field. I knew that when I started dating the XF, but that's because she was the only one on the field for lack of options, not because she truly outdid anyone else.
Right now, Andrea's a Silver Medalist. I mean no disrespect to her, but she doesn't fit everything I'm expecting God to give me in a wife. He could do a work to make her even better than she is now, or He could choose a wife who's better suited for me because she qualifies higher. Even though Andrea places well, even better than every other option at the moment, I still know that being with her would still be settling, even if I'm settling at a higher level than I've ever settled before. My friend Danny said the Lord told him about one particular girl: "You would have a happy marriage...and the warmest pew in the entire church."
So be honest with the Lord whenever you see that Silver Medalist. Don't settle, but don't be afraid to ask God for a woman that some may consider to be out of your league.