Thursday, June 30, 2011

LAFB #16: Coming Back to FaceBook

Somewhere on the order of a year ago, I deleted FaceBook because it was getting in the way of my real life and responsibilities.  After a certain period of time, I got bored and decided to create this blog.  When I started up, I really thought there would be a greater demand for this type of page, as it seemed I wasn't the only one leaving the world's greatest social networking site of all time, but maybe I was off on my calculations.  Still, I left FaceBook for me, not for anyone else.  It's not easy to delete 1600 friends in a day.

I have a confession to make: if I haven't mentioned it already, I have a FaceBook account.  Until recently, this was a stealth account I used to check things I can only check through FB, such as fan pages and minor stalking.  Then I added one friend.  Then another.  Then they started sending me friend requests. 

This leaves me at a juncture: do I resurrect the old account or press on with the new one?  Do I delete this one, too, or just live it up and accept it as the way things are going to operate?  Do I stop accepting friend requests, or do I slowly build back up to my original 1600?  Of course, I'd have a hard time remembering who all 1600 of my old friends were, mostly since i met many of them a long time ago and haven't kept up.  But do I really care about being friends with all the people I once went to high school with?  I don't know.

When I added my friend John "The Wrecka" Barecca again, he confronted me:

So, I went back and read your justification for leaving facebook. I assume you also wrote about why you have returned... It better be pretty good since the basis for your blog was your departure... :-):-)
 
That's why I love my brothers in Christ.  Someone to shoot me straight and punch me in the face when I need it.  Thanks, John.  He is, in fact, referring to my first post ever on this blog, which contained my reasoning behind everything mentioned above.  I myself had to reread that one to remind myself of what I'm doing there, as well as what I'm doing over here.
 
All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not -- I Corinthians 10:23.
 
The good news is what I've learned in the past year: I don't have to be controlled by FaceBook in order to be happy.
 
I don't have to sit around waiting for someone else to update their status or post a new picture in order to be happy.
 
I don't have to be tagged in photos or have people post on my wall or comment on my status in order to be happy.
 
And I don't have to surrender my life to FaceBook in order to be happy, either.  Currently, I still don't have the page bookmarked, which is saying something, considering how many pointless bookmarks I already have.  So maybe I'm selling out, which incidentally has become my most popular post ever due to the inclusion of an image of a car phone, or maybe I'm just learning maturity and moderation.  Key word: learning.  Don't judge a thing before its time.
 
Wanna find me on FaceBook?  Search for ZJK Brewer.  I've added most of my new blogosphere friends, although I'm sure I've missed a few.  Realistically, I want to do more with Love Thy Roommate and social media, including creating and maintaining a fan page, so look out for that in the coming days.
 
And look out for me too, please.  Be a John Barecca.  Ask me the hard questions.  Ask me if I'm really dedicating enough time to the Lord when you see me puttering around FaceBook at 3 A.M.
 
Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. -- Galatians 6:2.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Saddle up your horses, we've got a trail to blaze!

Starting today, I am posting a series of pre-launch posts over at Love Thy RoommateToday's post introduces my roommates 2001-2006 during the time I lived in Baton Rouge.

Steven Curtis Chapman was on K-Love a month or two back.  My first thought was, "He better play 'The Great Adventure' while he's on the show!"  Well, it turns out his new album has a redone version of the song, which they played for us!  Awesome!

For my whole life, like many guys, i've wanted to be part of some great adventure.  From my childhood, I would watch Superman, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and most especially Star Trek: The Next Generation, all the while hoping they would show up at my house and bring me along.  I even wrote an unnecessarily long song called "Superman" about this kind of experience.

I guess Star Trek had the biggest impact on me.  When i was in grade school, TNG came on in syndication, every night at 9 P.M.  Guess when my bedtime was.  That's right, I've seen the opening teaser to every episode, although I can't say for certain I've seen every episode in its entirety.  Thankfully, there's http://www.allstepisodes.com for my sake!  And, after all, how can you not pick Picard over Kirk?



That's what I thought.

Discovering one site where I could watch every episode of Star Trek I ever missed (and there were a lot of them between all five series), I knew there'd be a problem if I devoted all my spare time to watching Trek.  The truth is part of me really wants to fly off on the Enterprise even if that means I only spend my life cleaning the bathrooms they never show.

Lots of us fall in to some kind of fantasy.  Walt Disney World is based on kids believing they're really running around with Mickey Mouse and Snow White.  Star Trek conventions (never went to one of those) are based on a bunch of people getting together and pretending they're officers or aliens from the Trekiverse -- if not posing as actual characters from one of the shows.  The adult novelty shop in our delivery area has a large banner with the slogan, "Live the Fantasy."

The problem is, fantasy isn't reality.  So much of popular culture is based on indulging in a fantasy, so much so that some people can't discern fantasy from reality.  Why do we pick fantasy?  Because we think our real life sucks too much, so we have to find something better.  As for me, I can either live in my fantasy forever or I can grow up and be who I'm called to be in Christ.

As Dietrich Bonhoeffer points out in The Cost of Discipleship, every time someone came face to face with Jesus, they were forced to make a decision about their life.  Rich young ruler?  "Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me" (Matthew 19:21).  Matthew Levi, the tax collector?  "And as he passed by, he saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting at the receipt of custom, and said unto him, Follow me. And he arose and followed him" (Mark 2:14).  Disciple who wanted to say goodbye to his family first?  "And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God" (Luke 9:62). Simon Peter, having faced his own failures as a disciple and a friend?  "Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdest thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.
This spake he, signifying by what death he should glorify God. And when he had spoken this, he saith unto him, Follow me" (John 21:18-19).


Jesus has called me to a great adventure of winning souls and making disciples, of worshiping the King of Kings, of working miracles through a power not my own, of victoriously overcoming this world and all it offers me.  Am I going to stay home and live in my fantasy world, or will I forsake everything and follow Him into this great adventure?

What's your great adventure?  What is God calling you to?  What fantasy is holding you back from reality?

Friday, June 24, 2011

Short Story Friday: Thesis part 2

This is the second piece, about Papa as a child enduring the Flood of '27.  This is oddly relevant due to the incredible height of the Mississippi River this summer.


II

JUST LIKE A REAL MAN


Dear Papa,

Tell me about when you were in grade 3.

Kelley

Dear Kelley,

            It has been a long time since I was in the third grade. In fact, it was during the year of the big flood, that I was in third grade, 1927…


March 1927
“Finish your breakfast, Junie,” Mother told me as I picked at my eggs and oatmeal. “Hurry up so you can get to school on time.” She stood at the stove preparing food for herself.
“He’s not going to school today, Florence,” Daddy hollered on his way in the door, Uncle Squirrel following close behind. “Sawmill’s closing. They can’t get enough wood in here with all this flooding.”
Mother turned over the dish towel in her hand, taking no notice that I had stopped eating. Squirrel fixed a plate of his own and sat down beside me.
“Come on, Junie, I’ll race ya,” he said. “First one done with breakfast wins!” Squirrel and I went to town on our breakfast. My fork was racing to catch everything my toast scooped up into it. Still, I was able to keep an ear on my parents’ conversation.
“So where’re we gonna go, Cecil?” Mother asked in a lower voice. “Columbia’s flooded. Sicily Island’s flooded. Ferriday, Vicksburg, all flooded!”
“Think your father’s got work for us?” he asked.
Mother sighed.
“I tell ya what, we’ll run to town and I’ll give him a call.”
Mother shook her head and tapped her fingers on the counter, but didn’t say anything.
“Let’s take today to prepare everything,” Daddy said, taking her hands, “and we’ll leave first thing tomorrow.”
I dropped my fork on the plate, signaling that I was done eating. A split second later, Squirrel dropped his. “You win again, Junie!” he said.
“Well, I guess I did have a head start.”
“Come on buddy, let’s go pack up. We got a long trip ahead of us.”
Packing wasn’t too difficult for me. I only had three changes of clothes, which I stuffed in Daddy’s army satchel. Daddy already had his Model T running when we got outside. There was just enough room for Mother or me to sit in between the other two passengers on the bench seat. My feet reached the end of the bench, just short of the shifter. Daddy drove until he got to Uncle Lawrence’s store, which had the only telephone in town.
“Gotta call Dab,” Daddy said on his way in the door.
“Skippin’ town on us?” Uncle Lawrence asked.
“Got no choice, mill’s dried up. But they might just have work for us up in Ohio.”
“Coolidge’s supposed to send relief. Think that’ll get us anywhere?”
“I think it’ll last as long as Pat lasted in the Army.” Daddy looked up at three people sitting on a bench. “Ya’ll waiting to use the telephone, too?” he asked.
I saw L.Z. Martin sitting next to his daddy outside. I walked out there and sat next to him.
“Your daddy keep you home, too?” I asked.
“Yep, we’re leaving to go to Texas. All the farms being flooded means he’s got no crop to grow and no work for his men.” He pointed at all the men around him who were looking for someone to come along and hire them for a day’s work. “Daddy said there’s no more work left with all these refugees here. They’ll live anywhere they can set up a tent, and Wisner’s the only dry place for miles.”
L.Z. got up and went to the side of the store, where he found a metal hoop laying on the ground. He picked up a decent-sized stick and then pushed it toward me. I found myself a stick to push with, which soon turned into a sword, and then into a gun.
Squirrel came outside and got L.Z.’s daddy and another man to help load wood into the back of the truck. When Daddy came out, I got in the cab of the truck and L.Z. got in the back with his daddy.
“Squirrel,” I said, “Who’s Pat?”
“I don’t know. Which Pat you talking about?”
“Daddy said it’d last as long as Pat lasted in the Army.”
“Well, when the War Department sends out draft notices, they might send out one to, let’s say, Pat Jones. Only, when Pat shows up at the recruiting depot, they find it didn’t go to Patrick Jones, but Patricia Jones.”
“You ready for an adventure, Junie?” Daddy asked, patting me on the head.
I jumped out of my seat. “We going to stay with Dab and Granny?”
Squirrel sat me back down. “Sure are. And we’re gonna be camping a lot on the way up there.”
“Just like real men in the Army?” I asked.
“Yeah, just like real men,” he replied.
“Is mother gonna be camping like real men with us?” Both of them laughed out loud, and Daddy stopped the truck for a moment.
“Of course,” Daddy said, pulling himself together. He pulled back out on the road. “Your mother can be a man with the best of us.”
                         
We stopped outside of St. Louis one night on the way up there. It was cooler in Missouri than it had been anywhere else, and I didn’t have to swat any mosquitoes. For once, there were a lot of other children running around and, since we had been on the road for several days straight, Daddy decided to stay an extra day. While the grownups made camp, I found some other kids playing kick the can.
When I came back to camp, my parents were cooking around the fire with a man named Frank Gordy. Mr. Frank had built one raft out of cypress logs and put a henhouse on it, then put his pigs on another one. The pigs had their corncrib up at the center of the raft and they could drink water from the edges.
The next morning, Mr. Frank volunteered some of his eggs to share with mother’s breakfast, and he sent me to fetch them. Basket in hand, I walked into his henhouse, and stopped dead in my tracks. I didn’t exactly scream, but I wasn’t silent either. It must have been more like a whimper. Either way, it was loud enough for the family to hear.
Mother rushed over first, and as soon as she caught sight of it, she started doing what I was doing, only she managed to compose herself enough to whisper “F-F…F-F…FOX!” I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. Its hair stood on end as it crouched, back arched, tail low to the ground. I had no clue if it would try to pounce on me or run past. Standing there, I felt a hand on my left shoulder and the wooden stock of a rifle slide into my right hand.
“Take it with both hands,” Squirrel whispered as the trigger reached my right hand. I was still shaking, my eyes dead locked with the fox’s. He placed the butt of the rifle against my shoulder, held it underneath me to ensure I didn’t drop it, and steadied my back against his shoulder.
“Fire,” he whispered. The fox’s tail quivered. “Fire,” he said again more urgently. The fox’s legs began to shake. “Junie, pull the trigger!” he said. The Fox’s eyes narrowed. It leaned back and I squeezed my eyes shut tight. “NOW!” Squirrel yelled.
The shot went off. All the chickens started cackling out loud.
I opened my eyes when Squirrel started breathing again. The fox lay dead about halfway between me and where he was before. My finger still held the trigger tightly with Squirrel’s finger keeping it in place. I focused in on the dead fox’s body, and I saw two bullet holes: one in the head and one in the side. Daddy’s rifle lowered next to me.
“I guess you all three get credit for that kill,” Mother joked, finally able to breathe. Squirrel took his rifle, stood up, and started walking away.
“Daddy?” I called, running up alongside him. “Is that how real men live? Like in the Army?” Daddy and Squirrel stopped walking and looked at each other. Neither one said anything.
“Time to pack up, Junie,” Daddy said. “Time to get a move on.” They walked a little further while I stood there. Daddy turned back around. “Good shot, son. I’m proud of you.”
“Just like a real man?” I asked.
Daddy walked over and patted me on the head.
“Just like a real man.”

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

So you wanna go back to Egypt...

So you wanna go back to Egypt, where it's warm and secure?
Are you sorry you bought the one-way ticket when you thought you were so sure?
You wanted to live in the land of promise, now it's getting so hard
Are you sorry you're out here in the desert instead of your own back yard?

-- Keith Green, "So You Wanna Go Back to Egypt?"

This week, I unexpectedly ran out of shaving cream.  I've been using the Mary Kay men's shaving cream for about two years since a friend sold me on it.  It's a little more expensive than the regular stuff, but since the first can lasted me a year, I wasn't that worried.  And, since it seemed to last a long time, I had no problem using a little more than I used to.  Then, one day, it ran out.  Sunday, in fact. 

Well, I wasn't totally out in the woods.  I had a can of the old Gilette white stuff that I've had since Basic (2004) and haven't really used, but have carried it around for the past seven years everywhere I've lived.  That means every time I've packed up to move, I've had to ask myself why I keep it; the answer?  It's still good shaving cream that I might need one day. 

It's not what I'm used to, but going back to the old stuff, I've survived.  Because that's what men do.  When our Mary Kay shaving cream runs out.  Where was I?  Oh yeah, losing a corner from my man card.  I have always kept that can, subconsciously, I suppose, as a chance to go back to what I used before, because even before I got on MK, I was using a certain shave gel that got discontinued and now I can't find it anywhere.

Part of the problem with going forward can be forgetting where we came from and what it was like then.  We start longing for "the good old days."  I sometimes wish I was back at LSU as an undergrad with the Bible study we called The Wreckin' Crew, working at the Cafe...but that was before the Will of God totally interrupted my own plans for my life.  That was before He began to release me from bondages I never thought I'd get past.  Or else I want to go back into the active duty Air Force life, completely forgetting how hard it was to find other believers to share fellowship with or a church home to settle down in.  I forget that Basic was my opportunity to realize why I'd rather finish college than have to work a grunt job for the rest of my life.

Running out of shaving cream is not my biggest "back to Egypt" moment lately.  In the process of looking for a new place to live, I have certain deal breakers (not much different from my relationship deal breakers), including but not limited to:
  1. Pet-friendly
  2. A yard for Sophie the Wonder Basset
  3. Washer/Dryer
  4. NOT a trailer
I have thrice lived in a trailer, and two of them were really shabby.  Overall, I knew i'd have to have higher rent in order to be in a safe, clean apartment or house.  I could pay $400 a month for a trailer, but it would suuuuuuuuuuck.

But I still considered it.  Just like the Israelites, having so recently been set free from the bondage of their Egyptian masters:

10And when Pharaoh drew nigh, the children of Israel lifted up their eyes, and, behold, the Egyptians marched after them; and they were sore afraid: and the children of Israel cried out unto the LORD.
 11And they said unto Moses, Because there were no graves in Egypt, hast thou taken us away to die in the wilderness? wherefore hast thou dealt thus with us, to carry us forth out of Egypt?
 12Is not this the word that we did tell thee in Egypt, saying, Let us alone, that we may serve the Egyptians? For it had been better for us to serve the Egyptians, than that we should die in the wilderness.

-- Exodus 14:10-12.

But what does Moses say immediately thereafter?

13And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you to day: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen to day, ye shall see them again no more for ever.
 14The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.

I considered going back because the road looked hard ahead of me.  It looked hard.  That didn't mean it would be hard, it just meant I had to trust God to bring me somewhere better than I had ever been before.  Furthermore, everything back there looked easy, having forgotten what life was like back in those days.

There's nothing in Egypt I need.  I only need to trust God to be my all-sufficient provision, and He'll do what He does best.  Surely enough, I was able to find a roommate who comes highly recommended from mutual friends, who loves the Lord, and is going to help me keep the place clean in the eyes of the Lord.

What about you?  Have you done any Egypt-longing lately?

Monday, June 20, 2011

What I learned from Quitter by Jon Acuff (and an announcement!)

When Jon Acuff announced that he would give away advance copies of his book Quitter for certain people (i.e. its target audience) to give creative feedback, I jumped at the chance.  Was I between finishing my thesis and studying for comps?  Heck yes, I was!  Was I going to pass up the chance for a free book?  Heck no, I wasn't!

So Big Jon sent me the manuscript, typed out the same way my thesis was (8 1/2 x 11 paper, 12-pt Times New Roman Font, double-spaced) and bound by a big honkin' binder clip.  I was able to make it through about three chapters before I was required to submit my response, but I did finish it on the plane to Pittsburgh.  After I finished, in vague recollection of something Lampo Publishing said at some point (that I couldn't find backup for), I returned said manuscript to their office a day or two before Acuff emailed us and said "Thanks for helping out, you can keep the manuscript!"

The week I graduated, I got my own copy of Quitter in the mail, signed by Mr. Stuff Christians Like himself, with my name in the back.

Got my name on the inside of a book!  Next step: get my name on the OUTSIDE of a book!

That's me, middle column, about 2/3 of the way down, right beneath Mr. Ricky Anderson.  Up on the left is Mrs. Lindsey Beisel Harris, whom I first met on a message board over ten years ago, and has managed to find me on every social medium to date.  Needless to say, I feel honored to be among such a glorious cast of characters.

So what did Jon Acuff have to say that was so important and life-changing?  Well, it was basically a square kick in the butt to do what I've been dreaming of doing.  Much like Jon, I've wanted to be a writer for a long time.  My earliest writing-related memories go back to stories like my Star Trek TNG parody, spending the summer as a squirrel, and a messed up boat motor that spat out money.  Thinking back, even my excuses for not doing homework/classwork involved copious amounts of storytelling.  Hopefully, my writing has gotten better since grade school.  The problem for me was that for a long time, I didn't know that a writer was what I wanted to be.  The same goes for being a teacher.

My friend Ben Russell recently asked me which one I am: a writer or a teacher?  Well, I'm both, in a way.  I'd say I'm more of a communicator; sometimes it's through speech, while others it's through words on a page.  The bottom line, as I see it, is that we've all got something to say, and it's all in how we say it.  Sometimes the best way to get your point across may not be to say it outright, but to sing it, poemize it, or tell it in a story.  I've used each of these media at some point or another.

Haven't tried mime just yet.
The particular shoe that Acuff used to apply the the rectal kick was simply this: "If you don't start following your dreams now, you never will."  That's not a direct quote, at least I don't think so, but it's a theme from all over the book.  He deals with the practicality of following your dreams, saying that you can't make a living on an unfinanced dream, but instead telling us, "You're going to have to work harder than you did before, but it'll be worth it."

Let's face it.  Jon spent three years writing Stuff Christians Like in his free time in the morning before work.  In the process, he created a brand and a following that allowed him to publish his first book and eventually get his dream job speaking and writing.  Are his results absolute, or even typical?  No, but that's not what i'm going for.  I just figure, if he can do it with a wife, two kids, and a full time job, what's stopping me?


The truth is, I've kinda wasted the last ten years of my life in that regard.  Granted, I've come away with three degrees, become financially independent, and learned a lot along the way about the right and wrong ways to do bachelorhood, but I didn't spend nearly as much time writing as I could have.  Seriously, the most i ever carried to the end of a semester was 15 hours as an undergrad, 12 in grad school (and that only once!), all the while averaging 20 hours per week during the semesters I even had a job at all.  I wasn't a big studier, but spent most of my time hanging out with friends or sleeping (usually not both at the same time). 


But today, I spent several hours at a coffee shop just writing.  Some of it was a letter to a friend in prison, the rest of it lessons I learned from my aforementioned ten years of bachelorhood.  Afterwards, I went to my day job much more focused than usual.  My thoughts have been extremely scattered lately, and I find it difficult to pay attention to some things.  It's worst when I'm at church and really trying to absorb as much as possible, but in my head there's a reel playing this week's episode of The Office or whatever stupid video Tyler Tarver has put out most recently or some scene in my daily life whether funny or tragic.  Perhaps writing helps me train myself to focus more than I realize, because time really can slip away while I'm doing this.  For instance, I started this post over half an hour ago. 


So, after my fair share of suspense, what's the big announcement?  Starting August 1st, I plan on launching a new blog to complement this one, called Love Thy Roommate.  Another big thing that Jon Acuff has taught me lately is that it's much more important in the digital age to create your brand virally in order to ensure there's a target market out there for it, and then worry about writing a book.  Had he published his SCL book before creating the site and the community surrounding it, I'm sure it would have sold a few copies, but I doubt Zondervan would've picked it up or that it would have done as well as it did (and he would probably say the same).


Well then, what's this Love Thy Roommate business?  It's going to be the practical part of living on your own, whether with someone else or by yourself (as I've done that a time or two also).  As a Christian, I believe Biblical principles applied to real life lead to real change, and I want to use this site not only to help the Christian bachelor, but also to demonstrate that the Bible is practical and relevant to every generation, including our own.  Granted, I'm not able to pull up passages of what life was like when Jonathan and David shared a dorm in college or how Jesus and the Twelve managed sleeping arrangements when they crashed with Mary, Martha andLazarus, but there are definitely principles we can apply to our daily lives to make even the worst living situations better.


So big thanks go out to all of my current readers.  This will continue to be my random brain dump about life, but that blog will be more focused.  I'm very grateful for all of you who are named David Loti and have been reading since I started in September, but I'm also thankful for the friends I've made since then across the blogosphere.  Stay tuned and happy blogging!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Short Story Friday: Thesis part 1

I feel like I've kept my creative writing from ya'll folks, so here's the first two pieces of my graduate thesis.  This is my official introduction followed by a creative nonfiction piece.



Introduction

            Only after my grandfather passed away did I start to learn anything about him. I gave him a journal at Christmas in 1991, but never read it until after he passed away in 1997. I never really appreciated him until he was gone. Since I was fourteen years old when he died, I felt like the only member of our family who never related to him as an adult. I wrote this thesis with the intention of connecting with him in a different way, by exploring the character portrayed by the stories he left behind. Papa was always a storyteller, which is a trait the rest of my family shares, and I want to continue that tradition through my own retelling of his stories.
            When he died, I knew he had been at Pearl Harbor and in Europe where he was wounded, but the rest of the details meant nothing to me at the time. Once I started reading his stories, however, I began to understand all that happened to him. Coming out of Pearl Harbor without a scratch on him is just as amazing as having a Bible and a compass in his shirt pocket that stopped him from being shot in the chest. These two stories alone convinced me that I needed to expand on them and to make them come alive. These are stories that have to be told; they are not cleverly devised fables, but what actually happened.
            Unfortunately, Papa never gave a complete account of his war experiences, only highlights. For this reason, I have had to embellish in some places and make up other things completely from scratch. Papa’s character is the only one I based on real evidence; all of the other soldiers, friends, and family members were written according to his accounts and my own supposition. The names for his family and the other Boy Scouts in the first two pieces are real, but all of the soldiers’ names I made up. For clarification, Papa’s full name was Joseph Cecil Brewer, Jr.; to keep from confusing him and his father, I refer to him as “Junie” (short for Junior) in “Just Like a Real Man.” His parents were Cecil and Florence, the two uncles I mention were Lawrence Wilson and Lemoine “Squirrel” Brewer, and his grandparents living in Ohio were Dab and Granny, aka John Louis and Lila Wilson. He married Martha Lou Kelley, whom he met as a classmate at Louisiana Tech, in San Francisco in 1941, and his firstborn – my father, John Kelley Brewer, was born in Birmingham in 1944.
            As for the stories, “Just Like a Real Man” was taken partially from his journal and partially from a short story Papa wrote. “Camping Trip” was a series of vignettes he shared in his journal, which I packed into one event for convenience’s sake. “Sixteen-Inch Guns” is an embellishment of the journal and video interview. “War Games” was mostly made up to explain how I got Papa’s Pearl Harbor companions back together (not terribly likely, but certainly possible) and to tell the story of the exercise and the shell landing where “Some men had been standing….about 30 seconds before it hit” (see journal, pp. 27-28). “Initiation” and “Taking the Lead” were completely made up, mostly for the fact that I couldn’t have him skip over a month and a half of combat experience before getting to the culmination of it all on the day he got shot. The combat maneuver and the wounding parts of “Neither Sleep Nor Slumber” are true according to his account, as is the part about his son John (my father) not taking his first steps until Papa saw him in the hospital. The rest of it is meant to fill in gaps and wrap up the stories.
            If I have one theme from this work, it is leadership. From parts about being “a real man” to examples of scout and military leaders to his own responsibility as a leader, I worked to incorporate it into as many circumstances as possible. Leadership has been a major theme in my life, both from my military and civilian experiences, and one thing I tend to observe about people is their leadership style and methods. For this reason, even though this work is not a leadership manual, I hope to give some positive examples of leadership development.


 
I

FUNERAL I


“The doctor tells me I’ll live to be a hundred and five”
– video interview, August 1994

July 1997

I didn’t cry at Papa’s funeral. I cried three years earlier at Grandpa Coursey’s, right when one of the hymns hit me. I was eleven and his was the first family funeral I had ever attended. Possibly my first funeral ever.
I remember Daddy crying two days before the funeral, in the hospital, just after Papa passed away. We all gathered around the bed and joined hands while Daddy prayed, thanking the Lord for Papa’s life and for taking him. I don’t remember seeing Daddy cry before that.
I wasn’t in the hospital room at the moment Papa passed. I was across the hall, where Saturday morning cartoons entertained me. There was a commercial for a Sesame Street’s Greatest Hits CD that had me pleasantly distracted. Even at fourteen years old, I wanted it. Just as the commercial ended, I jumped up ready to tell someone about the CD when Momma came in the room. Right before the words would have escaped my mouth, I realized Momma was crying. I never got to tell anyone about that CD.
Momma and I walked out of the room and I saw Granny crying and hugging Uncle Bill, her son-in-law, and saying, “I always thought we’d go together.” I joined Granny, my parents, Aunt Sharon and Uncle Bill in prayer. My cousins, J.T. and Leigh, with her son Austin, arrived right before we left the hospital. Granny told the nurses on duty not to do an autopsy, and thanked the one attending to him. I had spent most of my hospital visitations out of the room watching T.V. Since this time was no different, Momma suggested I take a walk around the park outside the hospital. This was where they had taken Papa in his wheelchair, just a week before, the last time he ever went outside. I went along with it, even though it didn’t mean much to me.
Daddy drove Granny, and Momma drove me, back to Granny and Papa’s house in Wisner, Franklin Parish, Louisiana. When we stopped for gas in Rayville, I pretended to be a bum offering to wash their windshield, with which I managed to get a laugh out of them. When we got to the house, I laid down to take a nap, since I hadn’t slept much that weekend. I woke up to J.T., three years older than me, holding Austin, eighteen months old, over my head. My parents and I left that evening to go back to Coushatta. My brothers, Tim and Luther, arrived later in Wisner, as did Aunt Cecile.
The wake was held on Sunday night. I remembered my Louisiana History teacher telling us an old wives’ tale, “If you touch a dead body, you’ll never dream about the person again.” Well, I didn’t want to say goodbye just yet, so I made sure not to touch his corpse during the wake. I also didn’t have much time, as I was put on Austin duty. That kid had a lot of energy. Since I was the youngest of a small family, I had no real experience with young children. The most rewarding moment for me was, while chasing Austin, he stopped and pointed at a door and said, “Daa?” I told him, “That’s glass.” “Glaa?” he repeated. “Yes! Glass!” I told him, proud that I was responsible for part of his vocabulary.
Monday morning consisted of folks visiting the house to offer condolences. Great-Aunt Jenny arrived from Bridgeport, Texas, driven by her niece Virginia, who lived in Ruston. There was another family prayer before we left the house, led by the current pastor at Wisner United Methodist Church. We went to the church, but the minister who was supposed to be doing the service was late. My daddy quipped, “If she doesn’t show up, Daddy’ll have to get out of the coffin and preach his own funeral.” He got a laugh out of the folks present. When I repeated this joke to my Luther, he chided me for being disrespectful and sacrilegious.
 The colorguard from the Veterans of Foreign Wars, of which Papa had been a member, served as pallbearers. Many of the men belonged to their church. The procession went from Wisner UMC to Oakley Cemetery in Gilbert, the next town over. With the coffin in place, the colorguard folded the flag and handed it to Granny. “Taps” sounded off in the distance.
None of these things did I process or even understand at the time; nor did I really know this man I called Papa. My cousins were seventeen and twenty, my brothers twenty-seven and twenty-nine. Out of the entire Brewer family, with the exception of Austin who was too young to remember him, I was the only one who never related to Papa as an adult.
Several years earlier, I gave Papa a journal to write about his life for me. I never read it until he was gone, nor did I pay very close attention to the stories he would tell me. During the next ten years, while I still had Granny with me, I tried to learn as much as I could about him. I also developed a deeper appreciation for the elderly, in hopes that none of them would go unappreciated.
One thing I knew for certain about Granny and Papa was that Jesus was a very important part of their lives. They had always been involved with their church, and had even taken me to a family camp called the Texas Christian Ashram, beginning two years earlier. Up until 1997, I had been in church all of my life, but it was never really personal. That was the first year that church became something real to me. Isaiah 6 begins, “In the year that king Uzziah died I saw also the LORD sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple.” Papa was my King Uzziah. That year, at the Ashram, even though I hadn’t dedicated my life to Jesus yet, I received a personal prophecy for the first time ever. A year after that, I gave my heart to the Lord.
And I did end up dreaming about Papa. I still do, from time to time. It freaked me out the first couple of times, but I got used to his occasional visit. I even wrote a short story based on one of the dreams. I got what I wished for, and it helped me feel like Papa never left.

Monday, June 13, 2011

High Mountains and Green Trees

The other night, I was praying about what to read before bed, and the number three kept popping up.  I asked the Lord, "Chapter 3 of what?" and He said Jeremiah.  Now, the Lord doesn't always speak to me like this, so I knew this was where I needed to be.  I didn't get everything that night, but more has been revealed to me in the meantime.

 1They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD.
 2Lift up thine eyes unto the high places, and see where thou hast not been lien with. In the ways hast thou sat for them, as the Arabian in the wilderness; and thou hast polluted the land with thy whoredoms and with thy wickedness.
 3Therefore the showers have been withholden, and there hath been no latter rain; and thou hadst a whore's forehead, thou refusedst to be ashamed.
 4Wilt thou not from this time cry unto me, My father, thou art the guide of my youth?
 5Will he reserve his anger for ever? will he keep it to the end? Behold, thou hast spoken and done evil things as thou couldest.
 6The LORD said also unto me in the days of Josiah the king, Hast thou seen that which backsliding Israel hath done? she is gone up upon every high mountain and under every green tree, and there hath played the harlot. 

Verse 6 really caught my attention.  "Upon every high mountain and under every green tree."  You may recall that Josiah brought holiness back to Judah by destroying the places of idol worship, II Kings 23.  So what was the Lord saying about the places of idolatry?
  • Upon every high mountain...
Idols and false gods were worshiped on high mountains.  You can see the logical progression: gods are in the sky, and mountains reach to the sky, therefore mountains get us closer to the gods.  If my mountain is higher than your mountain, then I must be able to get closer to my god than you can to your god, right?  Unless, of course, you come and take my mountain away from me, thus proving my idol can whoop your idol. 

Mountains represent strength.  For the modern church, you find believers flocking to the places of human strength.  They go where their ears are tickled, where they are placated, where no one makes them feel uncomfortable in their sin.  They attend churches where their specific natural talents are lacking so they can jump in and fill a void without having to go through any processing or waiting period, and if anyone in authority asks them to wait, they'll just go somewhere else.  They find a place where they can do things to feel spiritual or buy their way into the affections of others by good works without actually having to surrender anything.

  • Under every green tree...
Idols were primarily worshiped for what the worshiper could get out of it.  Fertility, fruitfulness, growth, all things that the idolater wanted, and was willing to sacrifice just enough to get.  When the Israelites came into Canaan, they were commanded to slaughter the native people wholesale, but they disobeyed.  Since they had been a nomadic people for more than an entire generation, they had no experience in agriculture, so they depended on the native people instead of the Lord to teach them.  So, they learned every technique: plowing, tilling, sowing, watering, reaping, selling...and going to the prostitutes of the pagan temples to offer your sacrifice.  Being guys, I'm sure most of them didn't reject this opportunity.  "Sorry, honey, gotta go to the temple prostitute if we want a harvest this year!"  There truly is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9).

Green trees represent growth and prosperity.  I don't have to talk about the dangers of the prosperity gospel, because plenty of others have done so before me.  People want not only what they deem to be a strong, safe place, but for the provision, the growth that comes out of it.  People want to hear about what God can do for them without being bothered with what God requires from them.  People want things, plans, programs that will lead to riches, increased business success, prestige, and favor in the eyes of men.

But God has not commanded His people to do so:

2Ye shall utterly destroy all the places, wherein the nations which ye shall possess served their gods, upon the high mountains, and upon the hills, and under every green tree:
 3And ye shall overthrow their altars, and break their pillars, and burn their groves with fire; and ye shall hew down the graven images of their gods, and destroy the names of them out of that place.
 4Ye shall not do so unto the LORD your God.
 5But unto the place which the LORD your God shall choose out of all your tribes to put his name there, even unto his habitation shall ye seek, and thither thou shalt come:

-- Deuteronomy 12:2-5

You can see that all of these desires are rooted in things the Lord wants to do in the believer's life; the problem is that the modern church has rejected God's way of doing things and has implemented the world's systems.

He wants to give us strength and to take us into high places.  We just have to lose the strength we claim and take on His strength.

He wants to give us growth and prosperity; He wants us to bear fruit.  We just have to realize that we can't take in nourishment from anything else in this life.


 14Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion:
 15And I will give you pastors according to mine heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding.
 16And it shall come to pass, when ye be multiplied and increased in the land, in those days, saith the LORD, they shall say no more, The ark of the covenant of the LORD: neither shall it come to mind: neither shall they remember it; neither shall they visit it; neither shall that be done any more.
 17At that time they shall call Jerusalem the throne of the LORD; and all the nations shall be gathered unto it, to the name of the LORD, to Jerusalem: neither shall they walk any more after the imagination of their evil heart. 

-- Jeremiah 3:14-17.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Going Unleaded

I made a life-changing decision a few weeks ago: I, Zechariah Brewer, was going decaf.



 Never thought I'd say this.  Never thought I'd respect someone who drank decaf.  But here I am. I'm the guy who'll never let you drink a pot of coffee alone, no matter how late it is.

But I discovered something about myself right before I gave up the 'caf: when I drink coffee first thing in the morning, I'm guaranteed (aside from a forthcoming trip to the head) to get the "2:30 feeling" you hear about on the Five Hour Energy commercials.  This leads to me wanting a nap as soon as I get off.  Instead, when I start my day sans-caf, I just have to push through the groggy-sleepy feeling for an hour or so and then I'm fine.

First thing this morning, my eyes shot open at 5:45 and I already had a verse in my spirit:

Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
-- Philippians 4:5

In a world where we are labeled by the most extreme portions of our lives, here is Paul exhorting us to moderation.  We Christians know what this can be like, as you get judged for life as a drunk by other Christians for the one time you said a certain wine was okay, or as a Communist because you didn't completely hate something President Obama did or said.  Heck, Jesus had to deal with this Himself:


For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine; and ye say, He hath a devil.
The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinner!
-- Luke 7:33-34

 So this means we should avoid all extremes, right?  Every single extreme out there?  Well, let's look back at Philippians 4.  The surrounding verses say:

Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice. (v. 4)

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. (v. 6)

Extremes in the things of God are okay, it turns out.  Shocking, eh?  So I looked up the Greek word for "moderation" and found out it means "appropriate."  In Christ, showing love, being holy, obeying the word of the Lord, and everything else we're commanded to do are always appropriate.  So I guess if there's some other thing I want to do that seems like sin, I should just wait for an "appropriate" time to, say, go out on the town and get drunk?

Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord's table, and of the table of devils.
Do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? are we stronger than he?
All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not. 
-- I Corinthians 10:21-23

The word for "expedient" also means "profitable."  I can't be involved in the things of the world, "the cup of devils," and if I am going to drink, what's the point?  It's not profitable.  I find no joy, no benefit, from surrendering myself to something that is not of God.  This is how I've learned what to take out of my life, such as coffee, that may not have commandments against them, but are simply "not profitable."

Now some will tell me I'm taking things to the extreme, that the Bible doesn't forbid coffee, and I must be a Mormon to think caffeine is a sin.  Well, in their defense, the Mormons don't even believe that.  They believe in -- get this -- moderation.  The Bible doesn't tell us not to drink alcohol, so I'm taking things too far when I tell Believers not to bother with it due to its unprofitability.  But look Nazirites.  They were all commanded to set things aside for the ministry of the Lord: touch no dead body, drink no alcohol (or even grapes), and do not cut your hair.  They were set aside for the work of the Lord.  If we want to go further with the work of God, we have to set things aside that hinder us -- whether that be alcohol or caffeine or video games.

So let us be clear: in your devotion to Christ, in your obedience to His commandments, go to the extreme.  Identify with Him and none other.  In everything else, go to the extreme -- extreme moderation?  Yep.

What have you had to take out of your life to be moderate in all things?  What fat did you cut out to ensure your relationship with the Lord stayed strong?

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Mullets et al: A Chronicle of Bad Hair and Other Awesomeness

This was originally a photo album on my old FaceBook account, so I felt the need to upload them to this site.

You can thank EduClaytion for the fact that I even thought of posting it, although Ironic Mom and Badly Drawn Bible both mentioned it.

1. The Mullet

First things, first, 5th grade, I wanted long hair.  Unfortunately, my hair curls up when it gets long, so long hair all around didn't work.  I ended up with a mullet long before i knew what that was. 

   



Daddy used to say he could tell which one was me out of everyone on my little league team because I had hair sticking out from underneath my helmet.
















In my defense, the coach had a mullet, too...



2. The Mohawk, summer after 7th grade


I went to Boy Scout camp that summer and decided I needed a mohawk. The lady who cut my hair refused to go down to the skin, so she just set her clippers as low as they would go. Years before that, however, I had a faux-hawk before faux-hawks were emo....


3. Baldy

I'm pretty sure that every kid in a hoodie with shaved hair and a high forehead looks like a convict.  It's true for me and my nephew. 

4.  Bowlin', up to age 5



















 This was one of those instances I was given an Easter suit to wear.  Obviously, I was sick of wearing it by then.  I also used to have blond hair.  Also notice how Daddy's hair looks like he slept on the corner of a pool table.  Why should we bring the bowl cut back?  Because Chris Tomlin said so.

5.Fakeness























Why just have bad hair when you can have MULTICOLORED hair?  Bigger chance of my mom allowing this kind of hair.

What about you?  what awesome pictures do you have to share?